aprayer.txt100755 14117 310 1767 7256164433 12361 0ustar nunemachuser A Prayer (Balls to Mr. Bengelstein) ----------------------------------- A prayer, A prayer, A prayer for the constipated... SHIT! A prayer, A prayer, A prayer for the inebriated... PISS! A prayer, A prayer, A prayer for the frustrated... FUCK! A prayer, A prayer, A prayer for the dehydrated... BEER! A prayer, A prayer, A prayer for the menstruated... BLOODY HELL! A prayer, A prayer, A prayer for the castrated... BALLS! Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, Bengelstein, Bengelstein, Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man. He sits on the steeple and shits on the people, Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man. He keeps us all waiting while he's masturbating, Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man. He ups it, he downs it, he fucking well pounds it, Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man. asiwaswalking.txt100755 14117 310 1500 7256170472 13543 0ustar nunemachuser As I Was Walking ---------------- As I was walking through the wood, I shat myself, I knew I would. I cried for HELP! but no help came, And so I shat myself again. As I was walking through Saint Pauls, The vicar grabbed me by the balls. I cried for HELP! but no help came, And so he grabbed my balls again. As I was walking through St. Giles, Some bastard grabbed me by my piles. I cried for HELP! but no help came, Ad so he grabbed my piles again. As I was walking down the street, A whore grabbed me by the meat. I cried for HELP! but no help came, And so she grabbed my meat again. As I lay sleeping in the grass, Some bastard rammed it up my ass. I cried for HELP! but no help came, And so he rammed it up again. asshole.txt100755 14117 310 355 7256170716 12325 0ustar nunemachuser Asshole, Asshole ---------------- Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee For cunt, for cunt, for country and for Queen Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be breathalyzed.txt100755 14117 310 1523 7256221074 13355 0ustar nunemachuser Breathalyzed ------------ Breathalyzed, Crystals turning green before my eyes. I can hardly realize, That I have just been breathalyzed. Suddenly, There's a policeman standing over me. I'd like to punch him but he's six foot three, And I would like to stay alive. He said, "We'd like to test your blood for alcohol." I said, "Go away, you'll get nothing, Dracula." Reality, Five hundred milligrams per 100 mils. Now they reckon, I'm a mobile still, and I have to be penalized. Custody, When they took me to the local mick, I've never seen a policeman move so quick, But not as quick, as I got sick. Misery, And the judge says I must join AA, And take the bus for 60 days. Oh, why did I get breathalized? Breathalyzed, Couldn't wait to get back to the car, But I hadn't gone very far, 'Til I again was breathalized. brotherhasher.txt100755 14117 310 675 7256173636 13540 0ustar nunemachuser Here's to Brother Hasher ------------------------ Here's to brother hasher Bother hasher, brother hasher Here's to brother hasher May he chug-a-lug He's happy, he's jolly, He's fucked up by golly, Here's to brother hasher May he chug-a-lug So drink motherfucker Drink motherfucker Drink motherfucker Drink motherfucker Here's to brother hasher May he chug-a-lug byebyecherry.txt100755 14117 310 566 7256171201 13355 0ustar nunemachuser Bye Bye Cherry -------------- Back your ass against the wall Here I come, balls and all Bye bye cherry Won't your mother be disgusted When she finds your cherry's busted Bye bye cherry Wrap your legs around a little tighter I can feel my load is getting lighter Shake that ass and wiggle those tits Until my little pecker spits Cherry bye bye daisy.txt100755 14117 310 370 7256171331 11767 0ustar nunemachuser Daisy, Daisy ------------ Daisy, daisy, give me your answer true. Daisy, daisy, wouldn't you like to screw? I really must beg your pardon, But I've got a hell of a hard on From beating my meat against the seat Of a bicycle built for two. dinah.txt100755 14117 310 464 7256220534 11745 0ustar nunemachuser Dinah ----- Dinah, won't you blow me Dinah, won't you blow me Dinah, won't you blow my horn Dinah, won't you blow me Dinah, won't you blow me Dinah, won't you blow my horn Someone's in your sister's vagina Someone's in your sister I know Someone's in your sister's vagina Pumpin' like a dinamo dough.txt100755 14117 310 411 7256171455 11767 0ustar nunemachuser Doh! ---- Dough, the stuff that buys me beer Ray, the guy that sells me beer Me, the guy that drinks the beer Far, a long way to the beer So, I'll have another beer La, I'll have another beer Tea, no thanks I'm having beer Which will bring us back to... fuckaduck.txt100755 14117 310 355 7256172564 12632 0ustar nunemachuser Fuck a Duck ----------- Fuck a duck, a female duck Screw a baby kangaroo Fingerbang an orangutang Let an elephant do you Feel the penis of an eel Whack the asshole of a yak Masturbate with a gnu Which will bring us back to... godblessmyunderpants.txt100755 14117 310 551 7256172674 15146 0ustar nunemachuser God Bless My Underpants ----------------------- God bless my underpants, Brand that I like, Stand inside them, And ride them, Between my buns when I run or I bike. From the waistband, To the legholes, To the fly flap, Wet with piss, God bless my underpants, They look like this. hashers.txt100755 14117 310 661 7256173153 12322 0ustar nunemachuser Meet the Hashers ---------------- Hashers, Meet the hashers, We're the biggest drunks in history. From the Town of Boulder/Broomfield/Golden/Westminster/Niwot/Longmont We're the masters of debauchery. Halfminds, Trailing shiggy through the years, Watch us as we drink alot of beers. Down down, Down down down down, Down down down down down down down down, down down down down, Down down down down down doooowwwwn. heoughta.txt100755 14117 310 226 7256173254 12470 0ustar nunemachuser He Oughta --------- He oughta be publicly pissed on He oughta be publicly shot He oughta be tied to a urinal And left there to fester and rot. hesgotadoseoftheclap.txt100755 14117 310 321 7256173346 15055 0ustar nunemachuser A Dose of the Clap ------------------ He's got a dose of the clap On his dick He's got a dose of the clap On his dick He's got a dose of the clap On his dick And all it does is go Drip! Drip! Drip! hesthemeanest.txt100755 14117 310 326 7256173432 13520 0ustar nunemachuser He's The Meanest ---------------- He's the meanest He sucks the horse's penis He's the meanest He's the horse's ass Ever since he found it All he does is pound it He's the meanest He's the horse's ass him.txt100755 14117 310 42 7256173747 11424 0ustar nunemachuser Him --- Him, Him, Fuck him. hitler.txt100755 14117 310 766 7256174473 12170 0ustar nunemachuser Hitler Has Only Got One Ball ---------------------------- Hitler has only got one ball Goering has two, but very small Himmler has something sim'ler And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all Frankfurt has only one beer hall Stuttgart, die munchen are all on call In Munich, vee lift our tunich To show vee 'Chermans' have no balls at all Hans Otto is very short, not tall And blotto, from drinking Singhai and Skol A 'Cherman', unlike Bruce Erwin Because Hans Otto has no balls at all idontwanttobeahousewife.txt100755 14117 310 1001 7256175617 15642 0ustar nunemachuser I Don't Want to Be a Housewife ------------------------------ I don't want to be a housewife I'd much rather be a whore I'd rather turn some tricks Involving foot long pricks Housework can be such a bore I don't want to do his laundry I don't want to cook his fucking food And if I'm getting laid I should be getting paid Else I'm truly getting screwed Call on the Provincial Territory Call on the navy and marines Call on me mother, Me sister and me brother But for fuck's sake don't call me idontwanttojointhearmy.txt100755 14117 310 1521 7256175605 15531 0ustar nunemachuser I Don't Want to Join the Army ----------------------------- I don't want to join the army I don't want to go to war I'd rather hang around Picadilly underground Living off the earnings of a high born lady Don't want a bayonet up me arsehole Don't want me bullocks blown away I'd rather live in England Bonny bonny England And fornicate me bloomin life away, gor blimey Monday I touched her upon the ankle Tuesday I touched her upon the knee Wednesday I confess I lifted up her dress Thursday I saw you know what Friday I put me hand upon it Saturday she gave me balls a tweak (tweak! tweak!) Sunday after supper I put the old boy up her Now she earns me 40 bob a week, gor blimey Call on the regimental army Call on the navy and marines Call on me mother, Me sister and me brother But for fuck's sake, don't call me immanuelkant.txt100755 14117 310 1520 7256172366 13372 0ustar nunemachuser The Philosophers Song --------------------- Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could drink you under the table David Hume could outconsume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beer swine Who was just as sloshed as Shlegel There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya 'Bout the raising of the wrist Socrates himself was permanently pissed John Stuart Mill, of his own free will After half a pint of shandy was particularly ill Plato, they say, could stick it away Half a crate of whisky every day Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink, therefore I am." But it's Socrates himself that's particularly missed A lovely little thinker But a bugger when he's pissed iusedtoworkinchicago.txt100755 14117 310 1330 7256176302 15122 0ustar nunemachuser Chicago ------- I used to work in Chicago In a department store I used to work in Chicago But I don't work there anymore A woman came in for some velour Some velour from the store Velour she wanted, felt she got I don't work there anymore A man came in for a doorbell A doorbell from the store A doorbell he wanted, my knockers he got I don't work there anymore A woman came in for some toilet parts Some toilet parts from the store Some toilet parts she wanted, my ballcock she got I don't work there anymore A woman came in for a metaphysical conversation A metaphysical conversation from the store A metaphysical conversation she wanted, fucked she got I don't work there anymore (And so on...) littlebird.txt100755 14117 310 414 7256204016 13010 0ustar nunemachuser The Little Bird --------------- The was a little bird No bigger than a turd A-sitting on a telephone pole It ruffled up its neck And shit about a peck And puckered up its little asshole Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole It puckered up its little asshole mailman.txt100755 14117 310 526 7256174106 12302 0ustar nunemachuser The Mailman Song ---------------- Here I come down your way I can come twice a day I'm your mailman I don't mess with keys or locks I just stick it in your box I'm your mailman I can come in any kind of weather Because my mail sack is made of leather If you have a postage stamp Let me lick it, make it damp I'm your mailman mayor.txt100755 14117 310 3720 7256203711 12025 0ustar nunemachuser The Mayor of Bayswater ---------------------- The mayor of Bayswater He had a lovely daughter And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees And the hairs And the hairs And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees One black one, one white one, One with a little shite on, And one with a little light on To show us the way They're so soft and spongey You can use them for a bungie And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees I've smelt it, I've felt it It's just like a piece of velvet And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She came from Glamorgan With a cunt like a barrel organ And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She married an Italian Who was hung like a fucking stallion And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She divorced the Italian And married a fucking stallion And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees Her cat's name was Boris And it played with her clitoris And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She shays she's not a whore But she bangs like a shit-house door And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She went to Arabia And got camel-drool on her labia And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She married a Spaniard With a prick like a bloody lanyard And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees She stayed in Seattle And went down on cattle And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees I've licked it, I've kissed it It tastes like a chocolate biscuit And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees Her vagina is squishy And smells a bit fishy And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees The aroma, it lingers It smells like fish fingers And the hairs of her dickey-di-do Hung down to her knees (And so on...) mobile.txt100755 14117 310 3610 7256201337 12145 0ustar nunemachuser Mobile ------ Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile Oh the eagles they fly high And they shit right in your eye Thank the lord that cows don't fly in Mobile In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!) In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile Oh the eagles they fly high And they shit right in your eye Thank the lord that cows don't fly in Mobile Oh the sheriff is a bugger in Mobile Oh the sheriff is a bugger in Mobile Oh the sheriff is a bugger And the deputy's another And they bugger one another in Mobile In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!) In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile Oh the sheriff is a bugger And the deputy's another And they bugger one another in Mobile There's a lack of good glasses in Mobile There's a lack of good glasses in Mobile There's a lack of good glasses Cuz those motherfucking hashers Stuck their glasses up their asses in Mobile In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!) In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile There's a lack of good glasses Cuz those motherfucking hashers Stuck their glasses up their asses in Mobile There's a lack of good whores in Mobile There's a lack of good whores in Mobile There's a lack of good whores But there's keyholes in the doors And there's knotholes in the floors in Mobile In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!) In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile There's a lack of good whore But there's keyholes in the doors And there's knotholes in the floors in Mobile The girls, they wear tin undies in Mobile The girls, they wear tin undies in Mobile The girls, they wear tin undies But they take them off on Sundays You should see the boys on Mondays in Mobile In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!) In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile The girls, they wear tin undies But they take them off on Sundays You should see the boys on Mondays in Mobile (And so on...) moonshadow.txt100755 14117 310 231 7256176654 13045 0ustar nunemachuser Moonshadow ---------- (Singer yanks his pants to his ankles, gets someone to follow him) I'm being followed by a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow mrsmurphy.txt100755 14117 310 515 7256202664 12731 0ustar nunemachuser Mrs Murphy ---------- Take it in your hand Mrs Murphy For it only ways a quarter of a pound It's got hair on its neck like a turkey (gobble, gobble!) And it spits when you shake it up and down If I had the wings of an eagle And the balls of a hairy baboon I'd fly to the ends of creation And buttfuck the man in the moon mygirlfriend.txt100755 14117 310 1353 7256177316 13404 0ustar nunemachuser Follow the Hares ---------------- My girlfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer A mighty fine lawyer is she All day she fucks you, she fucks you, she fucks you And at night she comes home and fucks me So drink a little, fuck a little, follow the hares Follow the hares with your tits in the air Drink a little, fuck a little, follow the hares Follow the hares all the way My girlfriend's a hooker, a hooker, a hooker A mighty fine hooker is she All day she fucks you, she fucks you, she fucks you And at night she comes home and she sleeps My boyfriend's a soldier, a soldier, a soldier A might fine soldier is he All day he humps rucks, he humps rucks, he humps rucks And at night he comes home and humps me (And so on...) myoneskin.txt100755 14117 310 431 7256177443 12702 0ustar nunemachuser Oneskin ------- My oneskin hangs down to my twoskin My twoskin hangs down to my three My threeskin hangs down to my foreskin My foreskin hangs down to my knee Roll back, roll back, roll back my foreskin for me, for me Roll back, roll back, roll back my foreskin for me. mysisterbelinda.txt100755 14117 310 1743 7256200220 14067 0ustar nunemachuser My Sister Belinda ----------------- My sister Belinda She pissed out the window All over my favorite sombrero I said, "You fat twat, you pissed on my hat!" She said, "I don't fucking well care-o." Aye aye aye aye Me and my soggy sombrero I said, "You fat twat, you pissed on my hat!" She said, "I don't fucking well care-o." My sister Belinda She shat out the window All over my favorite sombrero I said, "You fat twat, you shat on my hat!" She said, "I don't fucking well care-o." Aye aye aye aye Me and my shitty sombrero I said, "You fat twat, you shat on my hat!" She said, "I don't fucking well care-o." My girlfriend Maria Gave me gonorrhea On a trip down to Rio Di Janeiro I said, "You fat twat, you gave me the clap!" She said, "I don't fucking well care-o." Aye aye aye aye Me and my globby dick-ero I said, "You fat twat, you gave me the clap!" She said, "I don't fucking well care-o." myuncle.txt100755 14117 310 3127 7256177705 12370 0ustar nunemachuser My God How the Money Rolls In ----------------------------- Uncle Joe is a registered plumber, His business in holes and in tin, He'll plug up your hole for a ten'er, My God, how the money rolls in. Rolls in, rolls in, My God how the money rolls in. Rolls in, rolls in, My God how the money rolls in. My mother's a bawdy house keeper, Each night when the evening grows dim, She hangs out a little red lantern, My God, how the money rolls in. My cousin's a Harley Street surgeon, With instruments long, sharp and thin, He only does one operation, My God, how the money rolls in. My brother's a slum missionary, He saves fallen women from sin, He'll save you a blonde for a dollar, My God, how the money rolls in. My Grandad sells cheap prophylactics, He punctures the teats with a pin, For Grandma gets rich from abortions, My God, how the money rolls in. My sister's a barmaid in Sydney, For a shilling she'll strip to the skin, She's stripping from morning till midnight, My God, how the money rolls in. My aunt keeps a girl's seminary, Teaching young girls to begin She doesn't say where they finish, My God, how the money rolls in. We've started an old fashioned gin shop, A regular palace of sin, The principal girl is my grandma, My God, how the money rolls in. My father makes book on the corner, My mother makes illicit gin, My sister sells kisses to sailors, My God, how the money rolls in. pissoff.txt100755 14117 310 316 7256221002 12316 0ustar nunemachuser Piss Off, Ya Wank ----------------- Piss off, ya wank, piss off, ya wank, Piss off, ya wank, piss off, Piss off, ya wank, piss off, ya wank, Piss off, ya wank, piss off. pissonya.txt100755 14117 310 646 7256202023 12522 0ustar nunemachuser Pissonya -------- Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya In Russia that means "I love ya" If I had my way, I'd pissonya all day Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya In Russia that means "I adore ya" If I had my way, I'd shitonya all day Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya In Russia that means "I worship ya" If I had my way, I'd cumonya all day Cumonya, shitonya, pissonya putyourleftleg.txt100755 14117 310 454 7256202137 13752 0ustar nunemachuser Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder ---------------------------------- Put your left leg over my shoulder Put your right leg over my shoulder Brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbbb Put your left tit over my shoulder Put your right tit over my shoulder Brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbbb rover.txt100755 14117 310 722 7256220725 12016 0ustar nunemachuser Rover ----- I'm looking over, My dead dog Rover, That I over ran with the mower. One leg is missing, The other is gone, The third leg is shredded, All over the lawn. You see there's no use explaining, The one remaining, It's spinning on the carport floor (the carport floor), I'm looking over, My dead dog Rover, That I over ran, that I over ran, That I over ran with the mower. sally.txt100755 14117 310 323 7256202230 11771 0ustar nunemachuser Sally in the Alley ------------------ Sally in the alley was sifting cinders Lifted up her leg and she farted like a man Wind from her butt blew out six winders Cheeks of her ass went "Wham! Wham! Wham!" sandm.txt100755 14117 310 2047 7256206075 12007 0ustar nunemachuser The S&M Song ------------ Who can take a cheese grater (Who can take a cheese grater) Strap one to each arm (Strap one to each arm) Fist fuck the bitch and make vagina parmesan The S&M man, the S&M man The S&M man, cuz he mixes it with love And makes the hurt feel good The hurt feel good Who can take a glass rod Slide it up his prick Give himself a woody, then smash it with a brick Who can take some sandpaper It's gotta be 50 grit Rub it up and down til she doesn't have a clit Who can take a puppy Grab him by the ears Do him up the ass til he's crying puppy tears Who can two ice picks Stick one in each ear Ride her like a Harley while he does her up the rear Who can go to an abortion clinic Go around the back Rummage through the trash til he finds a tasty snack Who can take his bicycle, Take away the seat, Put his girlfriend on it, ride her down a bumpy street? Who can find some newlyweds, Sneak into their room, Fuck the bride in bed, and sodomize the groom? (And many many more...) scotsman.txt100755 14117 310 2722 7256201617 12531 0ustar nunemachuser The Scotsman's Kilt ------------------- Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair. And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share. He fumbled 'round 'till he could no longer keep his feet. And stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. Ring-ding-ding-a-ling-a-ladio, Ring di diddle-i-o He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. About that time two young and lovely girls happened by. One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye. See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built. I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt. They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be. Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see. And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt. Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth. They marvelled for a moment and one said, "We must be gone. Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along." As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow. Around the bonnie star the Scott's kilt did lift and show. Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees. Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees. And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes. "Ah, lad I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize." shittytrail.txt100755 14117 310 305 7256220261 13231 0ustar nunemachuser Shitty Trail ------------ S-H-I-T-T-Y, shitty, shitty trail. Shitty trail (shitty trail) Shitty trail (shitty trail) You fucking hares laid a shitty trail S-H-I-T-T-Y, shitty, shitty trail somedieofdrinkingwater.txt100755 14117 310 450 7256200347 15420 0ustar nunemachuser Some Die of Drinking Water -------------------------- Some die of drinking water Some die of drinking beer Some die of dehydration Some die of dyarrhea-r But of all the world's diseases There's nothing can compare To the drip drip drip Of a syphilitic prick Of a hash house harrier swilligansisland.txt100755 14117 310 1466 7256200557 14257 0ustar nunemachuser Swilligan's Island ------------------ Just sip yer brew and you'll hear a tale A tale of a drunken hash. That started with a keg of beer And everyone got trashed, (Repeat) The first hare was a brainless cooch, His co-hare was half as smart. Two hundred some odd half-minds Took off in a cloud of farts. (Repeat) The hills got steep, the shiggy deep, The back checks had them fooled. Then someone found the beer check And everybody drooled. (Repeat) The mud had sucked their sneakers off, Their legs were ripped a lot. But once they had their nectar, The trail they soon forgot. (Repeat) The moral is no matter how Much shiggy's on your trail, A hashin' twit don't give a shit While he's swilling his ale. syphilis.txt100755 14117 310 355 7256202345 12525 0ustar nunemachuser Syphilis -------- Syphilis It all started with a little kiss Now I find it hard to take a piss Since I contracted Syphilis Leprosy Body parts are falling off of me I'm not half the man I used to be Since I contracted Leprosy thisisahashingsong.txt100755 14117 310 135 7256211627 14555 0ustar nunemachuser This is a Hashing Song ---------------------- This is a hashing song It isn't very long twelveinchhardon.txt100755 14117 310 616 7256177065 14237 0ustar nunemachuser Twelve Inch Hard-On ------------------- I've got a start on A twelve inch hard-on That I've had all afternoon I went to the doctor He told me to cough I wish that he'd just lopped the thing off So come to me Venus Massage my penis Shrivel it like a prune I've got a start on A twelve inch hard-on That I'll probably have That I'll probably have That I'll probably have til June twentytoes.txt100755 14117 310 255 7256204503 13103 0ustar nunemachuser Twenty Toes ----------- There's a game named twenty toes That's played all over town The women play with ten toes up, The men with ten toes down, down, down, down... whatawank.txt100755 14117 310 1413 7256204743 12666 0ustar nunemachuser What a Wank ----------- What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank Wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank What a wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank Wank, wank, wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank Wank, wank, wank Wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank Wank, wank, wank Wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank wheniwasseventeen.txt100755 14117 310 340 7256205025 14413 0ustar nunemachuser When I Was Seventeen -------------------- When I was seventeen I drank some very good beer Some very good beer I purchased With a fake ID My name was Brian McGee I stayed up listening to Queen When I was seventeen wherewereyou.txt100755 14117 310 576 7256205137 13422 0ustar nunemachuser Where Were You? --------------- Where, where were you last week? Why did you make us hash all alone? You fat, lazy bastards, you weren't even here So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer Down, down, drink it all down Drink it all down, drink all of that beer You fat, lazy bastards, you weren't even here So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer whipitout.txt100755 14117 310 505 7256205277 12721 0ustar nunemachuser Whip It Out at the Ballgame --------------------------- Whip it out at the ballgame Wave it around at the crowd Dip it in peanuts and crackerjack I don't care if you give it a whack Cuz it's beat your meat at the ballgame If you don't come it's a shame Cuz it's One! Two! You're covered in goo At the old ballgame whywasheborn.txt100755 14117 310 373 7256206176 13407 0ustar nunemachuser Why Was He Born So Beautiful? ----------------------------- Why was he born so beautiful? Why was he born at all? He's no fucking use to anyone. He's no fucking use at all. He may be a joy to his mother, But he's a pain in the asshole to me. wouldyoulike.txt100755 14117 310 317 7256212066 13414 0ustar nunemachuser Would You Like? ------------ Would! You like! A penis in your ear! Or would! You like! Some urine in your beer! No, sir, not bloody likely, Don't fucking think so, So drink it down, down, down. yogi.txt100755 14117 310 1726 7256204432 11652 0ustar nunemachuser Yogi ---- There's a bear in the deep dark woods Yogi, Yogi There's a bear in the deep dark woods Yogi, Yogi bear Yogi, yogi bear Yogi, yogi bear There's a bear in the deep dark woods Yogi, Yogi bear Yogi's got a little friend Boo Boo, Boo Boo Yogi's got a little friend Boo Boo, Boo Boo bear Boo Boo's only three feet tall, Lucky, lucky Boo Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bear Boo Boo has no teeth at all, Gummy, gummy Boo Boo has no teeth at all, Gummy, gummy bear Yogi has a girlfriend, Cindi, Cindi Yogi has a girlfriend, Cindi, Cindi bear Cindi doesn't use K-Y, Smokey, smokey Cindi doesn't use K-Y, Smokey, smokey bear Cindi is a frigid bitch, Polar, polar Cindi is a frigid bitch, Polar, polar bear Cindi has a girlfriend, Klondyke, klondyke Cindi has a girlfriend, Klondyke, klondyke bear Cindi's white and Klondyke's black, Panda, panda Cindi's white and Klondyke's black, Panda, panda bear (And so on...) yoho.txt100755 14117 310 3103 7256211307 11647 0ustar nunemachuser Yo Ho ----- Yo ho, Yo ho I put my hand upon her toe Yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her toe Yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her toe She said, "Hey hasher, you're way too low!" "Get in, get out, quit fucking about!" Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her knee Yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her knee Yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her knee She said, "Hey hasher, quit teasing me!" "Get in, get out, quit fucking about!" Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho So I jammed my fingers in her eyes Yo ho, yo ho I jammed my fingers in her eyes Yo ho, yo ho I jammed my fingers in her eyes She said, "Hey hasher, you're way too high!" "Get in, get out, quit fucking about!" Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her twat Yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her twat Yo ho, yo ho I put my hand upon her twat She said, "Hey hasher, you hit the spot!" "Get in, get out, quit fucking about!" Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho Alas we put her in a wooden box Yo ho, yo ho We put her in a wooden box Yo ho, yo ho We put her in a wooden box She'd sucked too many hashers' cocks Get in, get out, quit fucking about Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho So we dig her up every now again Yo ho, yo ho We dig her up every now again Yo ho, yo ho We dig her up every now again We fucked her once, we'll fuck her again! Get in, get out, quit fucking about Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho