Breathalyzed
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	Breathalyzed,
	Crystals turning green before my eyes.
	I can hardly realize,
	That I have just been breathalyzed.
	Suddenly,
	There's a policeman standing over me.
	I'd like to punch him but he's six foot three,
	And I would like to stay alive.
	
	He said, "We'd like to test your blood for alcohol."
	I said, "Go away, you'll get nothing, Dracula."
	
	Reality,
	Five hundred milligrams per 100 mils.
	Now they reckon, I'm a mobile still,
	and I have to be penalized.
	Custody,
	When they took me to the local mick,
	I've never seen a policeman move so quick,
	But not as quick, as I got sick.
	
	Misery,
	And the judge says I must join AA,
	And take the bus for 60 days.
	Oh, why did I get breathalized?
	Breathalyzed,
	Couldn't wait to get back to the car,
	But I hadn't gone very far,
	'Til I again was breathalized.