I Don't Want to Join the Army
	-----------------------------

	I don't want to join the army
	I don't want to go to war
	I'd rather hang around
	Picadilly underground
	Living off the earnings of a high born lady

	Don't want a bayonet up me arsehole
	Don't want me bullocks blown away
	I'd rather live in England
	Bonny bonny England
	And fornicate me bloomin life away, gor blimey

	Monday I touched her upon the ankle
	Tuesday I touched her upon the knee
	Wednesday I confess
	I lifted up her dress
	Thursday I saw you know what

	Friday I put me hand upon it
	Saturday she gave me balls a tweak (tweak! tweak!)
	Sunday after supper
	I put the old boy up her
	Now she earns me 40 bob a week, gor blimey

	Call on the regimental army
	Call on the navy and marines
	Call on me mother, 
	Me sister and me brother
	But for fuck's sake, don't call me