The Philosophers Song
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	Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
	Who was very rarely stable
	Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
	Who could drink you under the table
	David Hume could outconsume
	Schopenhauer and Hegel
	And Wittgenstein was a beer swine
	Who was just as sloshed as Shlegel
	There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
	'Bout the raising of the wrist
	Socrates himself was permanently pissed
	
	John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
	After half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
	Plato, they say, could stick it away
	Half a crate of whisky every day
	Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
	Hobbes was fond of his dram
	And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
	"I drink, therefore I am."
	But it's Socrates himself that's particularly missed
	A lovely little thinker
	But a bugger when he's pissed