The Mayor of Bayswater
	----------------------

	The mayor of Bayswater
	He had a lovely daughter
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
	Hung down to her knees

	And the hairs
	And the hairs
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
	Hung down to her knees

	One black one, one white one,
	One with a little shite on,
	And one with a little light on
	To show us the way

	They're so soft and spongey
	You can use them for a bungie
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
	Hung down to her knees

	I've smelt it, I've felt it
	It's just like a piece of velvet
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

 	She came from Glamorgan
	With a cunt like a barrel organ
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	She married an Italian
	Who was hung like a fucking stallion
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	She divorced the Italian
	And married a fucking stallion
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	Her cat's name was Boris
	And it played with her clitoris
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	She shays she's not a whore
	But she bangs like a shit-house door
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	She went to Arabia
	And got camel-drool on her labia
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	She married a Spaniard
	With a prick like a bloody lanyard
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	She stayed in Seattle
	And went down on cattle
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	I've licked it, I've kissed it
	It tastes like a chocolate biscuit
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	Her vagina is squishy
	And smells a bit fishy
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees

	The aroma, it lingers
	It smells like fish fingers
	And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
        Hung down to her knees
	
	(And so on...)