Hashers,

We had a good pack last night, with a number of returners.  It was good
to see Jess (unnamed) back after missing hashes 2 through 10 (some
excuse about the Bangles or walking like an Egyptian or something). 
Still, there were those of you who weren't even there, and those who
were in an alcoholic daze, so here's a recap.

The group assembled at lovely Chataqua park, late as usual, but in good
spirits.  The hares dropped powder and the game was on.  They headed out
uphill and south, but many of the hounds rejected the trail to head
downhill and north.  You can expect this pack to seek out valleys and
low places, that much is clear.  Mt Hood, Cum Silent, Deep and Humpsalot
took off toward the Hill, while Two Holes and Pinko paralled Baseline,
as Rick (unnamed) lost track of his nads and headed back to trail. 
Accounts suggest that the latter pair of shortcutters encountered OD
(unnamed) at the end of a YBF.  This is uninteresting except for the
fact that this was the last confirmed sighting of OD (unnamed), who
pulled a Schweeb (unnamed) and missed down-downs altogether.  Rumors of
maneating mule deer abound.  Anyway, the Mt Hood quartet kept time for
themselves, and not 2 minutes after the mandatory walking period
terminated, they spied a tall blonde Swede dropping a suspicious white
powder on the street a few blocks ahead.  They picked up the pace and
located a DP near the sighting.  Mt Hood and Cum Silent took one path,
while Deep and Humpsalot continued downhill on the other.  Deep spotted
the Swede again and confirmed her identity as Eatballs.  Humpsalot began
to close, with Deep in tow, quite literally.  Eatballs, unshaken and not
admitting being sighted, loped around a corner.  When Humpsalot dragged
Deep around the corner, Eatballs was gone, vanished, nowhere to be
seen.  A later telling involved Eatballs crouching behind a desk with
some foreign man in a hostel, spinning tales to sate him.  In any case,
Deep was not ready to admit defeat, and soon picked up Eatballs again, a
block off to the right.  He paralled her, they crossed Broadway, and he
snared her on the CU campus next to the Theatre building.  She faked a
powder dumping, but was not ready to call it quits for the trail, and so
packed up her powder again and succumbed to the snaring.  Meanwhile, Mt
Hood and Cum Silent were tracking down and successfully snaring
Whackaroni up on the hill.  I can't speak for the whereabouts of the
rest of the pack, as I didn't see them for quite some time.  After
Deep's snare, he set out on a misguided off-trail tour of campus, like
some giddy moron.  The only good that came of this was meeting up with
the other shortcutting duo of Two Holes and Pinko, who had not spotted a
single powder, down by the Engineering building.  Let us not speak of
this "shortcut" again.  When Deep and Pinko found the beer check near
the field house by pure chance shortly after Two Holes and a long time
later, they found the hares just setting out for part 2 of the trail. 
The pack had wandered in in clumps, evidently, and the check took a long
time because of it.  With the light waning, the hares decided to make a
more or less straight shot to the finish.  Which meant laying a CB 9 to
a map first thing out of the check.  Mt Hood, Cum Silent, Deep and
Humpsalot weren't about to give in to a CB and defied it with a long
tour of grad student housing, the Boulder Creek path and lots of
shiggy.  Which brought them back to the CB 9.  There was some confusion
in general about this particular trail feature, but Heather (unnamed)
had saved the day by scribing a map next to the CB 9.  The pack
magically came together near the business school, and Turtle (unnamed)
told us of his shortcut with Bush Router and Cock Gobbler very near to
Cum Silent's along Boulder Creek.  Mt Hood's pack arrows proved very
popular among the shortcutting contingent, which was large this trail. 
The trail straightened out at this point, the pack spread out, but all
arrived after a short dash along US36 at a secluded parking lot behind
WillVille, where down downs ensued.  All arrived except OD (unnamed). 
OD, if you're out there, the hares drank for losing you.  We wish you
all the best.

Down downs were typically rowdy, and we dug deep into our hymnals for
good material.  There was much.  Highlights involved some bawdy
improvisation on the Chicago Department Store song and good
old-fashioned, flour-in-the-eyes powdering of the hares for their
snarings.  We also were graced by the attendance of Tucson hasher Is It
In, who brought a puppy (unnamed) to spur us on.  There was one naming
to note.  The halfmind formerly known as Heather (unnamed) has adopted
the tag "Shaven, Not Stripped".  Congratulations, Shaven.  Angelo
(unnamed) was threatened with a naming, but we relented and will make
our peace with him at a later date.

Thanks to the hares for a rousing event, and for the meatballs and
cheese at the finish, which were popular among our canine hashers.  Next
hash will be in two weeks, hared by Bush Router and Mt Hood.  I'll put
it in the calendar.

On-on,
Deep