Hashers,

Here's a recap of this past Saturday's festivities in case you missed
it, you grabbastic pieces of amphibian shit.

The pack gathered on Hash time (similar to Ultimate time, but later) at
the designated location near 63rd and Diagonal in Gunbarrel.  Piggy
showed up with Longstocking pigtails flying and a flaccid tool banging
painfully against his knees, which made Cock "Pukahontas" Gobbler
blush.  Her co-hare, Bush "Sitting Bullshit" Router, was eager to get a
jump on trail, and tossed his powder prematurely.  As the hares loped
off in a northeasterly direction, the kennel admired itself.  Shaven Not
Stripped was titillating the hapless males with her 6 year old's
PeekAtYou getup, while Cummy Pinko's happy beaver was looking for a log
to gnaw on.  Puss In Boots was smoking in her Gunsmoke garb, and two
soccer hooligans answering to Cum Silent and Deep, respectively, tried
to get under the folds of Freudian's Bo Peep Show skirt.  Mt Hood's
Elmer Fudd, meanwhile, was taking pot shots at two virgins, one Slash
from the inimitable Guns N Roses, the other some sort of panty drawer
raider.  The good doctor Dripdick, looking a bit black in the face,
peered knowingly through coke bottle glasses at a tiger-striped Squishy
Squirmy Squirt as the pack took off.  Andy (unnamed) was left looking
bewildered, looking for a crack to climb.

The trail wound about an office park, past a series of apartments, then
under a street and onto a bikepath.  Deep noticed a Garage Sale sign
which reeked of his antics several hashes earlier, and notified the pack
as to the contents of the map.  Cum Silent motioned to Piggy, some
kilometers distant, and the whole writhing mass maneuvred generally
northward into a neighborhood.  A series of non-turn-on-powders nearly
threw the wily pack, and it was difficult to run on the top of a split
rail fence, but before long an unmanned beer check was discovered in
some shiggy and there was much rejoicing.  Cummy Pinko then expressed
her distaste for unmanned beer checks, while Freudian defended them,
knowing full well that hers and Dr. D's antics in Golden are far from
forgotten.  As the pack was reaching the check from one direction, Mt
Hood came dashing in from the other, and it was determined that he, Deep
and Cum Silent would proceed toward a true trail arrow Hood had
witnessed.  Deep and Cum Silent were not surprised to discover that Mt
Hood was an idiot, mistaking a four-times-crossed arrow on the ground
for the three-times-crossed marker everyone else recognizes on sight. 
Nevertheless, this mishap led to an uncharacteristically (for Deep)
successful shortcut to the tip of a CB4, which then led, in turn, to Cum
Silent's sniffout of a YBF and Hood's reckoning of a true trail arrow in
a shallow culvert.  The trio then collected the biggest prize of the
trail - a 5 lb bag of flour entirely full, stashed inconspicously 3 feet
from a DP.  Deep was made to carry the prize, being so light on his feet
compared to his companions.  In an unrelated event, 4.8 lbs of flour was
discovered dumped near a dumpster a couple hundred yards beyond the DP. 
Anyhoo, one of the virgins, or Piggy, caught up to the trio of
shortcutters, and the pack began to come together as the trail turned
south, UP a HILL past a church, then around the corner and into a
neighborhood just reeking of Cock Gobbler's abode.  After running down a
few bad trails, Hood finally circled around and encountered a group of
street-hockey-playing kids, devilish little buggers intent on spreading
confusion amongst the pack.  Since both the hares, then Cum Silent and
Deep had already passed by and all threatened the devilspawn with dire
consequences, they offered up mainly correct information to Hood and the
groups who passed shortly after, and all were correctly led under some
crackling power lines, around the corner on a not-quite-true-trail arrow
and to Cock Gobbler's clubhouse and finish.

Down downs ensued.  Songs were sung, beers were consumed, acts were
suggested.  There were no namings to note.  

On-afters ensued.  Hot tubs were exploited, nudity was flaunted,
container laws were broken, Gobblers were embarrassed.  "Snatch shots"
were taken.  We were graced by a nekkid Jesus and Slash wearing a dog
collar (only).  The "R" was put back into FlatlandeR.

The next hash event will be conducted Nov 18, hared by BlowsHis and
GetsNo.

On-on,
Deep