Flatlander wankers,

For those of you who weren't even there, here's a recap of Saturday's
festivities up north.  A compact but hard-drinking pack gathered at the
Safeway at Pace and 17th, amidst the suburban sprawl that has become
Longmont, right on hash time.  The hares eventually remembered that they
had a trail to lay, and bolted off into a non-descript housing
development.  The pack organized itself into a walking-without-ACL group
and a jogging-but-tasting-bile group, leaving first time Flatlander
Short Dick At Law to autohash in his Mercedes.  The crafty and
creatively-laid (*cough* Jizz *cough*) trail managed to keep these
factions mostly together, as they were led through neighborhoods, Cum
Silent's "classic shiggy 45", a Router-suckering CB around a high
school, a massive DP in a park, and goose-shit landmines en route to the
finish 4 flat miles away on Dale (unnamed, not a hasher)'s porch. 
Router won the hash, and seemed rather proud of it.  Pukahontas managed
to avoid getting lost.  On the way to the hash, that is.  The Freudian
Slut duo solved the trail with great vigor, and Chacockua sniffed out
countless fuckings and bad trails.  But it was during down-downs that
the walkers really shone.  Blowsis, regaling us with his unique and
blood-curdling warbling, downed ale upon ale, leading to post-hash
somnolence, followed by pigskin fervor.  Cummie dug up old grudges and
put Deep to the pint.  Half-Cocked rhapsodized about the light-bodied
German-like beer, "Bohemian".  Pukie sang of a man named Andy, and was
punished/rewarded.  Chacockua acted out the song "Old Brown Shoe", with
uncommon cheer.  Short Dick was admired for his stellar and obviously
well-practiced autohashing.  Router... well, Router ditched us.  Blowsis
drank for all the guerillas we wanted to give Dr Dripdick, and for
allowing Dr D to take the shitstud from us.  Jasmine (unnamed) lapped up
the liquor on the barroom floor, er, deck, providing her provider, Jizz,
and his co-hare, Cum Silent, with ample opportunity to get pissed. 
Mother-in-laws were serenaded.  Neighbors offered constructive
criticism.  Down-downs concluded when Deep's legs turned that peculiar
shade of cyanotic blue, and evolved into on-afters inside, where
football was watched, Nebraska Heisman winners were heckled, and pizza
was destroyed.

Next hash is a week from Saturday, to be hared by Chacockua and his
virgin brother Jim (unnamed), in Boulder.

On-on,
Deep