Alright wankers,

Not that I have anything against down-downs, as I'm sure you
know, but I can see Chacockqua's face through the alcoholic
haze of Friday night, and it seems to be saying something
about hash trashes.  So here's a recap of the festivities.

The pack gathered promptly at hash time next to Twin Lakes
in Gunbarrel.  Pod got a cash mug, Spermes recovered an old
timepiece, skanky mugs were distributed from the lost and
found, then straws were drawn.  Pod pulled the Shit, while
Little Head happily yanked the first hare, and was off like
a rabbit.  Roughly 5 minutes and 28 seconds later, Deep's
shortcut put him 50 meters behind a befuddled hare, and he
was shortly thereafter seen ducking with the bag into a
riparian area, with deep water on both sides.  Faking left
and right, then talking a shortcutting Chacockqua into not
snaring him, Deep made his way westward, along the ditches
to the south of the lakes.  Several feints into suburbia,
followed by two precarious ditch crossings, found Chacockqua
hot on Deep's ass.  Deep dropped a DP, then cut back toward
the stragglers of the pack along a parallel path.  They
seemed entirely disinterested in his sudden, lumbering
arrival, but after he dropped a bad trail, he managed to get
Cum Titty in on the action.  It wasn't long after that Cum
Titty was scene stumbling back toward the pack, her legs
splayed and weeping blood.  Turns out that she'd lost a
wrestling match with a barbed-wire fence, and, seizing the
opportunity to score a little morphine, stumbled back to the
start to drive herself to the ER.  Miraculously Delectable
was overhead to comment, "Wuss."  The pack pressed on,
passing the bag to Pod, who, despite having a bucket full of
flour, laid a sorry-ass leg roughly back to the start, then
cleverly dashed away for a nostalgic lap around one of the
lakes.  Deep made an impassioned plea to Cock Gobbler and
Pig Pimp, but they denied his beer lust and forced him on a
shortcut the opposite way around the lake, where a haring
Spermes found himself trapped.  Pig Pimp shagged him, then
grabbed the bag and hared her way to a delicious
turn-on-powder into the bushes, duping an over-eager Gobbler
and setting up Malevolently Diabolical for a haring stint. 
After laying 3 powders in the same spot, she let Helen (then
unnamed) parade her way to the finish.  8 hares, and
Chacockqua was denied - all the makings of a successful
pickup hash.

Down-downs ensued, as they are want to.  Fistful of Wang
turned up and got to take part in Helen (then unnamed)'s
naming, thanks to delay tactics on the part of Cock
Gobbler.  Unconfirmed reports suggest she was wearing a
thong.  MD's Tull fetish led to Helen (then unnamed)'s new
appelation, Tonguehole in the Jungle.  It may also have had
something to do with a Linguistics degree and hirsute
proclivities.  We also learned that when one hares drinks, 8
hares drink.  Needless to say, we dumped on Chacockqua, and
when he wasn't drinking, the pack was busting its collective
gut over his "best" choral efforts.  For those who haven't
listened to Chacockqua at down-downs before, it was
something like "Down Down Down Down: A Jazz Odyssey".  And
beverages were drained with abandon.

On-afters continued at Cock Gobbler's, where she proved an
attentive hostess, though we shafted her out of her chicken
wings, cleverly disguised as cinna-sticks.  Other stuff
happened, but I can't, or won't, remember the details.

Next hash is Friday, June 6, 6pm, hared by 2 Holes and the
Beav.  Assuming that's actually a date.

On-on,
Deep