Flatlander wankers,

I know you thought you'd escaped what has become my
semi-annual diatribe recalling recent hash activities,
but... AHA!  Up yours!

A perfectly sized and shaped pack gathered precisely at hash
time at the Foothills PnR off of Pearl St in Boulder on
Friday night.  The hares scoured Deep's car for supplies,
then skipped along their merry way, with dreams of the
longest Flatlander trail of the year happily tucked into
their half-minds.  Always the wizened mentor, Deep
encouraged Blowsis to school his virgin, and a good 12
minutes later, the pack set out, some along trail, a couple
toward the "west", trusting intuition to provide a hot
shortcut.  Though this trust was clearly misplaced, the
fence-scaling duo of Two Holes and Deep bounced off the pack
a couple of times before setting off on individual,
roundabout excursions.  Deep decided to investigate the
intersection of Arapahoe and Foothills, and finding that
covered only in gopher shit, turned eastward along the Creek
Path and intersected trail in short order, not far behind
the pack.  Two Holes was neither as savvy, nor as
fortunate.  Deep greeted the DFLs in the industrial area
north of Arapahoe, out by 55th, and blazed his own trail,
touching the hare's version here and there, until taking
refuge from a deluge under a bridge.  The trail, with
water-eroded chickenshit Chacockqua powders and vague
smeared chalk marks, was a pleasant challenge for Deep to
follow, and, 15 minutes later, hell for a straggling Two
Holes.  The rambling route visited twin office rows cum
oriental gardens, before turning to the northwest, after
flirting with the creek path out by the softball fields. 
This is where Deep collected Blowsis' poor virgin,
abandoned, confused, and in need of solace.  A few Little
Head bellows later, the beer check was spied across a lake
which had proven little challenge to Podiaphile, who swam
out to a raft to find "No Holes, No Heartbeat" holding a map
between her legs.  A minor parasitic infestation chased the
hares in short order, with the rowdy pack not far behind. 
At this point, Shit and Chacockqua decided to open a can of
suck and smear it liberally all along the straight,
featureless trail back to near the start.  Not falling for
the much maligned "A'" tactic, Deep and Malodorously Dynamic
decided to seek Two Holes at the start, and,
serendipitously, he found them.  Trusting intuition once
more, the threesome auto-wanked in two vehicles to
not-the-finish, at which point Deep and Two Holes abandoned
their vehicle and hoofed a mile or more of the same
featureless trail back to "A'".  Cowardly admitting defeat,
they followed some of those little white things to the
finish, where an exuberant pack was muddling its way through
typically cacaphonous down-downs.  Two Holes and Deep did
little to improve the quality of the vocal stylings, but
they did increase the volume noticeably.  

Down-downs continued to ensue, attracting hot young college
girls and their beer-lusting boyfriends to the well-located
bike path circle.  There was one naming to note.  The
occasional hasher formerly known as "that damned blowup doll
Shit always carries when he's trying to taunt honest hounds
off trail" now doesn't answer to "No Holes, No Heartbeat". 
Cold corn dogs and tainted chocolate donettes were the
perfect wives to some of the worst swill we've been forced
to endure in months.  Needless to say, down-downs lasted
most of the evening, and the DFLs ("One DFL drinks, they
both drink") were featured prominantly in the festivities.

Next hash is Thurs, July 3, hared by Cum Titty and Spermes.

On-on,
Deep